I'm Drowning Over Here...

There seems to be a time each year when I fall off the map.

I’ve just been here existing trying to make it through, sometimes just day to day.

Nothing tragic or major is wrong. Everyone’s strong and healthy.

Autism with the nice mix of puberty has landed here and so we are all trying to muddle our way through new attitudes and uncontrollable mood swings. It’s been a lot of fun.

The nice thing is that we have been approved for new insurance for Cal’s autism. This is such a gift. However with the gift comes countless intake appointments, things to sign, documents to get back from the doctors, and on and on. It is such a blessing but for now it is also a lot of extra work.

I got a job! Well, another job. In the wild world of being a stay at home mom this now makes 3 jobs I have. It’s a bit crazy. I am starting next month and am looking forward to it. I am excited to be able to put another hat on besides mom and reclaim a bit of my old self that I was before I started staying home. On the opposite side of that however is the fear that my children will feel neglected, that I won’t measure up, that I will stink at everything I do, like I always do. And that right there is a foothold for doubt to come creeping back in. If you read this post of mine before you know that I can develop quite a flair for loathing Lindsay. But hey, I am working on it. This is a work in progress! “‘Cause he’s still workin’ on me! “

All of that to say, that everything is going well for us. We’ve opened up the cottage for the season and praise the Lord, nothing was leaking or burst, or broken! Now it’s just dragging all of the new stuff I’ve purchased down there to begin settling in for the season. I’m trying to find a time to get everything moved in and cleaned so I can take pictures for you guys! It’s come so far, trust me.

We recently got back from our latest trip out east to Pennsylvania, New York, and Maryland. It was so much fun and we were able to see so many things!

Yesterday was a lovely Easter. We celebrated with my family and had a lot of fun at my Grandma’s house. I’m trying to cherish all of these memories! He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!

When I look at Easter pictures it reminds me how so often we all look all cleaned up and polished on the outside, either the outside of ourselves or maybe our family looks together on the outside of our home but on the inside, well, the inside is where we are hoarders: keepers of overwhelming emotions and big situations. Floods of problems that we try to keep at bay while all the while we don’t know if we are going to make it. And yet, in Easter pictures we look great. This is just a reminder that things are not always as they seem. Be kind to everyone, you never know what battle they are ensuing.

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the gorgeous weather this spring is bringing. It is promising to be a show stopper with all of the flowers and plants!