Depression...

Let's talk a little about depression.  

Photo Courtesy of Annie Murphy Paul

This is the image I think we all have in our heads.  But for the past few months I'm pretty sure the image has been this around here: 

Yep. That's me.  

Not really wanting to go anywhere.  

Not finding joy in anything. 

Shirking away from responsibilities including housework, teaching, being a good wife, cooking, laundry, etc., etc. 

When I was in college, my Junior year to be precise, I became severely depressed.  Nick and I were engaged and it was so bad he almost broke off the engagement.  True story.  I know all of the symptoms but somehow not until I'm waist deep in it do I think "huh, I think I'm depressed."  I'm either really dumb or that's just the way it goes with depression.

So anyway, Yep, that's been me.  It's been a dark hole over here.  I am sure the people that have been around me are surprised.  I've been happy, joking, same old, same old.  

Calvin, who as you know is Autistic, has this characteristic where he is perfect outside of the house and then crumbles when he is back home.

I wonder where on earth he could have gotten that from?  :)

I know it's all dependent on the weather and as we climb out of the bottomless abyss known as winter in Indiana I can feel myself waking up and coming around again.  

I'll climb out and make it but I really felt like I should explain this to you all.  Because first of all if you try to read this blog regularly then you have probably been wondering where the heck I have been.  A few months ago my husband made kind of an off-the-cuff, joking comment about a blog I had written saying "it probably didn't need to be written" which I kind of took maybe, sort of a little too personally and so that coupled with my depressed funk of not wanting to do anything has made me AWOL from the site.  

I'm so sorry. I'm really hoping to get back into a good rhythm.  

I also wanted to write about this to encourage others.  

You may be friends with someone who is suffering with depression and just doesn't open up about it.  Maybe they are ashamed or confused or in denial.  So many things can be going on in other people's lives and we don't even know, you know?  

So with all of that said, hopefully I'll not be lame and will write on here more, and hopefully this encourages you to show extra love and compassion to those around you...we never know what others are dealing with and sometimes they just need a little more compassion and love!  

Happy Weekending guys, <3