Trying to be Positive

I know my new attitude is to be positive and I am trying, honest I am.

Yesterday we met with Calvin's care coordinator through First Steps. Since he is going to be 3 in 9 months we have to start talking about what is going to happen once he has aged out of the program and we are basically on our own to get him help and therapy. She talked, it seemed okay and then she gave me a red folder of information to look over on my own.

So later came, it was naptime and I decided to find out my choices. I open the folder and there staring me in the face is a packet entitled "how to enroll your child into Special Education". I lost it. I sobbed. He CAN'T be in Special Education. I guess it just kills me to think that because he can't communicate he is going to be just in a random group of kids. Understanding is not the issue, learning is not the issue, it is simply a matter of communicating.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think that because he has a neurological disorder that he is just going to be grouped with kids with special needs, whether that class will help him or not.

So I refuse. I will be homeschooling him. Emma is too sociable and too smart for me to teach her. So we have decided that she will go to school. But we are homeschooling Calvin. We are researching other school districts in the area to see what help or classes they offer. We are begining a more active approach to sign language with the thought that we might end up sending him away to a school for all-deaf kids.

Bottom line is my son will not be in special education classes. He is the brightest, funniest little boy. I just can't do that to him.