About 5 years ago Calvin was accepted into ABA Therapy.
We were so excited for what this would mean for our family. Finally, someone who would be with him to help him learn how to control his behaviors better, how to function in society, and better interact with others.
Well 6 months into ABA the wheels kind of came off our bus so to speak and we all came to a screeching halt. We received news that our insurance company would no longer consider Calvin autistic because in one evaluation one doctor performed some years before they found that he had been (gasp!) willing to play with more than one teddy bear.
We fought tooth and nail, hired a lawyer, and in the end got no where fast.
Except Nick almost losing his job.
It was a time in my life when I thought I really would lose my mind. The idea that one person somewhere in a glass towered building holds the ability to control a decision that determines whether your child can get help or not is enough to make you want to lose it on someone. Add to that the fact that people kept telling us that if only Nick didn’t have a job and then we’d be able to qualify for medicaid and they would pay for everything.
That didn’t help.
We saw the writing on the wall regarding our loss of insurance concerning Cal’s therapy and sure enough we were politely shown the door.
I was devestated and felt like such a horrible mother. What parent can’t get the help their child needs? Who does that?
It was a horrible time. It was something I wrestled with for about a year and then truly the only things that helped to lessen the pain was a very sympathetic doctor and time. There were still twinges of hatred, remorse, and bitterness but slowly through time and prayer God took those things and showed me that he still cared for Cal infinitely more than I do and ultimately he has a plan for him. Nothing had changed to God, the world had just changed the circumstances around us.
Fast forward to five years later and we’re to right about now. Me sitting here with you. Things are going well. Cal has had some major leaps and bounds and without ABA therapy is still a remarkable kid.
Then there was last week…It was a shock to me when we were cruising around the Bend and I heard him and Emma start talking about when he gone to ABA therapy. He had always hated that particular place he went for ABA and refused to talk about it which is why it made my ears perk up.
And that’s when I head about it…
He told a story to his sympathetic sister that made my eyes instantly well up with tears. The long and short of it was that while he was enrolled he had a teacher whom he did not get along with who would basically make fun of him and how he did things.
Things like not being able to move his arms properly when he walked.
I suddenly realized that this was why (or at least the tip of the iceberg to who knows why) he didn’t like that place or even want to talk about it. This teacher had teased him and he ended up feeling humiliated and hurt.
My baby bear.
Friends, I want to tell you that last week in the car, hearing this, I could see God’s hand on our lives in that moment.
It suddenly all seemed to clear.
This was why our insurance cancelled his ability to get therapy. What I had viewed as a horrific situation was, in fact, God taking care of our son who had had no words to tell us what was going on.
I still ugly cry at how good our savior is.
He is that.
He saved our son.
And so I hope this story can bring you hope in not just a journey with autism but whatever situation you may face. It may seem like the rug was pulled out from you. And you have landed hard. Maybe you landed in a situation that you never felt you would ever have to go through.
But God has a plan. He is going to bring you through. And maybe he was saving you from something you couldn’t see or he’s taking you to a place you don’t even know exists. Whatever it is the point is that God is orchestrating our lives if we will just lean into Him and trust Him to work.
He’s a saving God.