I sat at the counter at one of my good friend’s houses this week and had some deep and meaningful conversations. My friend is one of those whom I feel comfortable being whiny with, going in and saying “will you make some hot tea"?” She’s one of those amazing people who love serving. Who offer you a piece of bread which, for others would seem super plain and boring but because it is her it is fun and exciting and fancy.
I’m convinced that everyone should have one of these friends.
I leave her house feeling recharged and rested. Feeling at peace and ready to get back into life.
Except this time.
It was nothing that my friend had done, she had done everything right. She’s the sweetest, kindest person ever.
It was me.
I had let this feeling of discontentment creep in. It always seems to be after me. Sometimes it hunts me down like prey, slow and creeping softly closer. Other times, like this time, it pounced on me and overtook me, overwhelming me quickly with its weight and force.
I saw her life and started comparing mine to hers. Things like “she has an indoor sauna room and I don’t” , “she gets to stay home with her kids and I have to work part time”, “she buys muffins from Costco and I feel morally obligated to make my own.”
You guys, I think I might be legit nuts. And if you are now thinking that then I think we are in the same think tank.
I came home and complained to my husband which made him feel inadequate in his ability to provide and then I wanted to crawl into a hole for saying anything in the first place.
Anyone else ever do this?
As I dealt with this, y’all I gotta tell ya, I was struggling with the matter of my heart. I had recently taken a new position that is such a blessing for our family and yet I felt myself feel pity for poor old me who had to go back to work.
And yet I think it is going to be the best thing in the end.
And then enter Dr. Edie. I am a part of Dr. Edie’s Young Living team. You can check her out here. She has a May challenge going on and she was talking about how nothing is ever going to be perfect until you learn to be happy with wherever you are. How you can’t think you will one day be happy when x, y, or z happens because when those things do happen, unless you’ve learned contentment you’ll never find happiness when you do have those things happen.
Such powerful words.
And so I have tried to stop being unhappy with the place in my life and instead find happiness in where I am. I am working on looking at every place I am as an opportunity to do God’s work.
Life is never going to be perfect but we can love life where we are just as we are and just as life is.
It’s never going to be perfect but we can make the choice to love it.